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27-07-2024 07:18 PM
27-07-2024 07:18 PM
Re: Time away from forums
Mm makes sense @creative_writer - and in my experience, we only tend to begin processing our stuff when we're ready to, so maybe you're just more 'ready' now? I mean, even if we're ready in our inner world though, doesn't mean it's going to be good timing in relation to the rest of what's going on in our lives 😅
Ooh I like that... like there's a joy to be found within a sense of calm. I have always felt like joy and contentment were related... like they're the same emotion, one is just higher energy. How have the videos and breathwork been working out for you so far tonight?
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27-07-2024 08:22 PM
27-07-2024 08:22 PM
Re: Time away from forums
I’ve been able to do breath work but can’t seem to tolerate binaural soundtracks. It’s hard but the peak has passed. It probably just my cptsd symptoms flaring up. It’s hard not to think about what has happened, how it still affects me and how it may affect my future
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27-07-2024 08:36 PM
27-07-2024 08:36 PM
Re: Time away from forums
@creative_writer for sure hun, it's a lot! I've always felt the universe had a rather ironic sense of timing 😂
Huh that's interesting, I wonder why the binaural sounds don't work for you... Shrug! Could be all sorts of reasons, humans are funny like that. Glad the breathwork is helpful though! I've always found so too.
Aye, it's natural to have some trepidation and concern about the impacts. I try to also remind myself that even if it does all go wrong, I will still find my way through it, as I have before. But honestly, I think you're gonna be okay. Every day you're developing new approaches, honing your regulatory skills, and learning about how your work will interplay with your recovery. You could look at it as just being like an 'info-gathering phase' or something, which will hopefully help you map out your next steps after graduation for both career and for recovery. Just a thought 😉
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27-07-2024 09:04 PM
27-07-2024 09:04 PM
Re: Time away from forums
Trauma naturally affects your personal and professional life. I’ve had a lot of thoughts about personal impacts, I was talking to my psych about how I felt repulsed by sex and was not sure whether I wanted to be in a relationship. My psych has worked with other clients and healthy sexual intimacy is often part of a healthy romantic relationship. I just fear romantic relationships aren’t for me, I know it can be different for everyone, but most guys will probably want more than I feel comfortable giving. I cant even begin to explain how I feel with my parents. I feel like a lost cause, I don’t want others to waste their time
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27-07-2024 09:40 PM
27-07-2024 09:40 PM
Re: Time away from forums
@creative_writer always a bit of a roll of the dice eh? I hope the binaural sounds regain their effectiveness soon!
Would it encourage you to know that I have now been in a relationship with one of my partners for over two years, and we've had sex so little that I can count it on one hand? Or that one of my other partners and I were 'on again, off again' with our sexual relationship, and are quite content no longer including it going forward?
Don't ever let the media, your family, or anyone else, tell you that there's only one acceptable way to be in an intimate relationship. Queerplatonic relationships exist, I'm in several of them, and they are fulfilling, mutual, and perfectly satisfying without us having to adhere to anyone else's idea of what an intimate relationship is.
This is also why I find Relationship Anarchy (short intro here if you're curious, and a bit more info here) to be such a big part of my value system. Basically it's the idea that the ONLY two people who get to define a relationship are the people in it. It's also my way of getting as far away from toxic monogamy culture* as I can. I really detest the idea that we need to hierarchically label people, like 'this person is my partner, they are obliged to fulfill all of my social, emotional and sexual needs. But this person is JUST a friend, so they're not as important and I should prioritise them less." It's such BS too because it sets up this idea that a romantic partner should somehow be able to fulfill all our needs, but no single person can do that. Which to me is one of the factors that paves the way for emotional abuse - this idea that 'you complete me' or 'I only need you'.
*This is toxic monogamy culture:
Okay... rant over 😅 Sorry, I just... this was my wound too. I never ever thought anyone would be able to love me, or give me what I need in a relationship. Now I have several someones who do, and I know you will someday too. That's not to say that you need to practice relationship anarchy yourself if it doesn't resonate, nor am I saying that you need to be non-manogamous! Just looking to inspire some hope 💜
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27-07-2024 10:13 PM
27-07-2024 10:13 PM
Re: Time away from forums
I also agree one person cannot fulfill your needs, which is why you need a number of people in your life. Even if one was to be in a monogamous romantic relationship, a person may need family, friends, community and colleagues etc in their life. You also need to work on your own relationship with yourself and embrace your own spirituality (which could be religious or non-religious)
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28-07-2024 03:18 PM
28-07-2024 03:18 PM
Re: Time away from forums
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28-07-2024 09:12 PM
28-07-2024 09:12 PM
Re: Time away from forums
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28-07-2024 09:20 PM
28-07-2024 09:20 PM
Re: Time away from forums
I wonder if you are actively 'trying too hard' to rid yourself of the thoughts and in turn end up thinking about them more? This was something my psych pointed out about me and my thinking patterns @creative_writer
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28-07-2024 09:30 PM
28-07-2024 09:30 PM