14th year house bound

[hiddenite]

Jacques you know I would do absolutely anything for you I care that much about you.

When you hurt so do I. You can't hide how bad things are for you because I already know.

When I got to the house this morning there was 2 ducks with 10 baby ducklings in the front yard. I took a photo of them to show the girls. Tomorrow I will take them to the house before school so they can see them.

The girls have an appointment with their psychologist tomorrow so more driving.

[hiddenite]

Um something nice I'm all out sorry Jacques.

Maybe I should read the positive affirmations I wrote out last night for you.

Did you read them?

Ok I've got one, I'm a good friend.

How'd I go?

[Jacques]

Karen you are such a sweet person, so caring, so supportive, please remember this, i care for you so much, things are bad, really bad, but your support is such a lifeline.

OMG, mum, dad and the little ducklings, Karen you are so lucky, i am hoping to build a big pond to entice ducks to nest at my home too, maybe one day.  I am sure the girls are going to love it, they are so lucky to have such a great mum, we have a wetland in the town i live, their are ducklings and gosslings their too, i went out their about 2 weeks ago, so cute.

I hope their appointment help them Karen, i know it will, you are getting them help early in their lives before it becomes a major problem.  Karen how is your eyesight?  you never told me how you went.  sorry maybe too personal, just tell me if it is ok or not.

[Jacques]

Karen i read them for about an hour last night, over and over, i could almost here you saying them to me, it was so beautiful, so soothing.  thank you

Karen thank you, i know you don't believe what you say, but you are a great friend to me, and so much more, i wish you could step outside yourself for a minute and see what i see, the inner goodness you have far surpasses all the negativity in your mind.  you just need to search for it, feel it and believe it.

[CherryBomb]

I can't help but chime in her to say, I hope we can see the ducks too!  Would love to see photos if you'd like to share...

[hiddenite]

I saw the Dr on Monday I promised you I would. 

He said I have low blood sugar and high blood pressure.

He was more concerned that he could see that I have deteriorated and that the intrusive thoughts are a constant for me now. He is really worried and made me promise to stay safe.

He also told me one of the medications I'm on can effect the eye sight.

So no real answers.

Driving is really challenging.

Jacques will you go to the Dr please?

[hiddenite]

Hi cb I'm technically challenged I've only used a tablet for 2 years and I don't have a computer. Jacques has been helping me.

Anyway I don't know how to post photos, I would if I knew how.

Karen

[hiddenite]

Jacques I'm so glad that you managed to read them I picked them out especially for you. Hoping that they may distract you for awhile.

That said it helped me too having to write them out so thank you...

[Jacques]

Yes i thought it maybe your reduction of sugary drinks, i am so sorry for trying to get you off them, keep vigilent Karen, you do not want diabeties, it is not pleasent.

Karen you hold on, i can't lose you, i would not cope if i lost you again, please hold on.

I am sure driving is challenging, make sure if you need to take regular breaks along the way, maybe pick the girls up early, to give youself plenty of time.

Karen i have to go to the doctors next month, i just can't bring myself to do any more than get a script and leave, Karen i will struggle on, i have fought this for so long.

Karen if you would like to share the photo of the ducklings, send the pic to @CherryBomb through email, i am sure she can put it up for you.  team@saneforums.org

[hiddenite]

Oh Jacques you give me too much credit I don't know how to do that either.

I'm sorry Jacques unless someone teaches me I have no idea.

Remember dumb blond.....