Lived Experience Forum

[outlander]

happy new year @Sophia1 and @eudemonism

[eudemonism]

Hi @Sophia1 I'd just like to apologize for writing so much to you. It was rather self centred and inconsiderate of myself to do this. You were a go to person for several months. And it probably got out of hand on my behalf. It was a really chaotic phase of my life. And I'm sorry that you copped the brunt of it.

[Sophia1]

Hello dear @eudemonism

Please do not feel that you need to apologise to me..

especially for writing so often to me...

I encouraged you to open up and express yourself as much as you were able to without upsetting yourself too much..

I really feel for you because I know that your life has been a huge struggle for you at times...

as you describe a chaotic phase of your life...

Communication is a two way exercise even though in the early stages of our conversations I did not open up to you..

You actually helped me Eude..

You let me know that our conversation was one-sided...what I thought was helping you by focussing on your issues was actually one sided ...I had not thought of it from that point of view..

I am grateful for the opportunity you gave me to be able to start to open up about myself..

This is very difficult for me to do....to put into practice...

I have always been the listener...ask everyone else about themselves and listen...worn the mask..

As I have said before I see you as being extremely brave and courageous ....intelligent and self aware and despite such chaotic moments in your mind ...you continue to try to work through your thought process..

Thank you for being a huge part of my experience on these forums.

I have learnt so much from you.

You have also been very supportive of my opening up about "my family member" and understanding my need to hedge around the subject so as not to alert that person should they land on the forums...to respect and honour privacy that is paramount for the paranoia experienced..

Having said that I do believe your privacy and confidentiality is safe....You continue to maintain anonymity on these forums..

Yes there are times where I need to take time out...not from you...from the business of the forums..also too much stuff happening in my life..

rehabilitation from surgery..

taking time to concentrate on my own self care....

also keeping in touch with reality as I have been disassociated on and off for so long..

Conversation .....I also love to read your humourous comments at times..

Thank you so very much for your friendship..I truly value and hope to continue conversing with you..

Just let me know if I start to advise or become too deep laugh..

Big hug Eude 💜

[Former-Member]

Thinking of you @Sophia1 and wondering how you’ve been lately, if you feel up to sharing. 

I was also very happy to say goodbye to 2018. 

Lets hope we see better things happen this year. 

Feeling quite low and don’t want to be too negative here. But wanted to say, hi 👋 

I have no reason to complain, except it was a really tough year with D and I just wish my health was better, so I could do something different with my life. 

Hoping your health etc is a bit better. 

💜💖🌸🌷

[outlander]

@Sophia1 💜
@Former-Member 💚

[Sophia1]

Thank you for thinking of me @outlander@Former-Member ..sorry can only write about my doom and gloom,

I have just written an extensive reply to Sherry and am concerned that it might upset her further..

I have no confidence in my replies anymore..

I edit and delete and just not respond so often...

I am forever getting the red box glaring at me advising me to correct highlighted areas of which I can see none..

Happened again with response to Sherry..

starting to wonder if my profile has been flagged for all of my posts to be checked...

So am drained...fed up...sad....gloomy...trying to keep the dreaded D at bay...

I know that I have read your words ....past posts...feeling pretty much the same....

hope that I don't make you both feel any  worse...

need to have a break from here for today at least..

take care precious ladies 💗💚💛💜❤

[Former-Member]

I read your message to Sherry @Sophia1

It was a very lovely, kind and caring message. 

It shows how much of a lovely person you are. 

I wish there was something I could do/say to help you feel better. 

The operation you just had sounds very traumatic. 

I can understand a bit of what you went through. 

Had similar happen last year (fancy saying, last year. I can’t believe we’re in a new year. Thank goodness we are). 

I had 3 people present. I thought it was just going to be females, but then a male specialist came in to “look” on a large screen. Oh my gosh!  They asked if I wanted to look at the screen. 

Umm, no thanks. As if it wasn’t traumatic enough. 

I was sobbing all through and had to tell them why. 

I can sort of laugh at it now. (The On a screen part), but it was traumatic. 

I understand what you mean about replying to people on here. I’m the same.  I worry about what I’ve written and sometimes delete the whole message. 

But, please try not to worry. Your replies are always full of kindness. 

Take care. 💜💖💜💖🌸🌺🌷

[outlander]

@Sophia1

[Sophia1]

hugs

leaving this here for those of us who might like an unconditional hug

@outlander@Former-Member@Former-Member@eudemonism@Maggie@Shaz51@Adge and many more

[Former-Member]

👋 @Sophia1

So cute  Thanks  

💜💖

🌷🌸🌺

☕️