@outlander - when you say you know you should be calling someone as we speak, that sounds to me like speaking with someone right now is the right thing to do.

I know you said you can't, and I know how much it feels like you really really can't, but I'm sure there have been many times when you've felt like you really can't do something that you've then shown yourself you actually can. Maybe this is one of those times? Maybe not this exact moment, but this challenge you're working through.