Lived Experience Forum

[EliseSunflower]

Finding balance can be hard - and trying to find what works! Treatment and recovery will look different for everyone. 

I'm going to move on to my second last question for the night: What would you recommend to someone newly diagnosed with the same personality disorder?

[Phoenix_Rising]

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@EliseSunflowerwrote:

Thanks everyone -  I wish I could reply to all your comments.

My next question is: What strategies or supports are you currently accessing to continue your recovery?

This may include formal treatment/support services, but I'm also interested in things like sleep/eating, hobbies, apps, friends and family - whatever you wish to talk about!

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@EliseSunflower this question pre-supposes that we agree with the concept of recovery...which I don't because I don't subscribe to the medical model. I don't believe I am "ill" (and thus I don't aspire to recover). Rather, I believe I experience perfectly normal reactions to an extremely abnormal situation. 

I tend to think in terms of managing my big feelings. Aside from seeing TTT, the things I do to manage my big feelings include:

• Playing my violin. 
• Learning to crochet (a brand new adventure!).
• Playing in my garden.
• Walking by the ocean/river
• Hanging out in Forum Land.
• Trying to eat healthy (or sometimes eating chocolate - because that's an essential form of self care, right @NikNik ).
• I have just discovered the app called "calm" which I'm exploring.
• I play a lot of meditation type music on youtube.
• Volunteering once a week at a fun thing that involves kids and animals. 

The general theme throughout most of this list is mindfulness. I find that things like playing my violin, crocheting and gardening are all different forms of mindfulness. My violin playing is particularly cool because I HAVE to be relaxed in order to sound any good. If I have any tension, my bow bounces. Thus it's kind-of a form of biofeedback - the quality of my playing immediately tells me if I'm relaxed or not and I can consciously focus on becoming more relaxed. 

[NameUnknown]

Hi all

[EliseSunflower]

Thanks @Phoenix_Rising - you're right, the word 'recovery' is certainly not universal in this sense. 

What an awesome list - definitely a lot of mindfulness in there, which is great to see. Glad you've identified some things that work for you!

[difficulthuman]

Seeking a psycholgist you can trust and be completely honest with.

[NameUnknown]

I guess i joined a bit late but I have DID and happy to answer questions on it while my diagnosis is new i have had it since i was 9.

[OhanaSystem]

I think the best two bits of advice for someone newly diagnosed with BPD are:
1. Don't believe anything or any*one* that tells you BPD makes you unloveable; and

2. It can get better than this. I promise.

[Teej]

I would recommend not to get caught up in the label. Be patient and learn what works for you. Everyone is different within a diagnosis so don’t compare too much.......yep learning this one the hard way. It’s easy to think you are failing because others get something you are struggling with. Know that others might not be the same as you but there are so many people who get lots of things even though they experience them differently (also learned the hard way). You are not alone! 

[Phoenix_Rising]

@BlueBay I super wish I could clone TTT and send you a copy of her. She really is truly amazing. She's quite young - much younger than me, and yet more skillful than a bazillion other therapists I've seen who would have many years of experience on her! 

@OhanaSystem I wish EVERY therapist would incorporate aspects of TTT's style. TTT previously worked with kids in out-of-home care before going into private practice and thus attachment and trauma related issues are very much her focus. 

[EliseSunflower]

That can be so important @difficulthuman - and hard, especially when it can take time to build up that trust. There's a lot of research to say that the relationship you have with a psychologist is one of the most important aspects of therapy - sometimes more important than the the type of therapy itself.