10-03-2021 08:52 PM
10-03-2021 08:52 PM
Not sure if I'm allowed to post about this but I'm really struggling with this at the moment. I just feel like and overwhelming waste of space. Actually more than that, I'm not just a waste a space but tuen everything around me to s***. Then I self harm and I can see it but can't stop myself and I think my view of what's not too bad is distorted like someone with an earring disorders view of their body is. It's getting harder and harder for me to know what's bad or not, what I really should get treatment for or not. I think because there are so many barriers that I tell myself it's not so bad. How do I know when I need help? Or even better how do I stop it even getting to that point if I feel not in control. Like a robot.
apologies if this is not ok to write about. I'm not sure on the rules on it
11-03-2021 12:21 AM
11-03-2021 12:21 AM
Hi @destructive I am sorry to hear you feel that way. we have sent you an email a few hours ago with supports and checking in that you are safe. Can you please let us know you are safe? and contacts the crisis numbers provided for support if things escalate
Jazz
11-03-2021 02:31 AM
11-03-2021 02:31 AM
Hello @destructive,
I'm fairly new to the forums so finding my way around is a bit hit-&-miss. However, I noticed a lovely response you extended to @MightandPower66 following her comment a few hours ago. From the comment that you offerred, it seems to me that you have a considerable empathy for others experiencing distress. To me that seems like a lovely quality to have and to share.
I look forward to seeing more of your pleasant and precious qualities in future posts
With My Best Wishes
HenryX
11-03-2021 08:20 AM
11-03-2021 08:20 AM
Hi @jazz I'm 'safe' sorry I missed the email I'd taken something to help me sleep amd gone to bed. I don't want to be here anymore but I have my son with me until Monday and would never do anything intentionally with him in my care. I do worry maybe I accidentally self harm too bad sometimes though without realising and then somehow have to seek treatment with him with me which I imagine wouldn't work so well or look good on me as a parent.
thanks for your comment @HenryX @I try and be there for other but often mess up and make it worse.
doesn't help that my sons been sick all week and now I'm getting it too. So even if I did want to go to a doctor I couldn't. We'd have to go get Covid tests first then wait on the results and by then it's too late. Covid really has so many flow ons.
11-03-2021 08:33 AM
11-03-2021 08:33 AM
Thank you for tellling us you are safe for now @destructive though it sounds like you are coming down with a lurgie. Are you able to see your gp to get some extra support in the mean time or at least call them? Look after yourself and keep up the support you are showing others too
11-03-2021 09:30 AM
11-03-2021 09:30 AM
Hi @destructive just wanted to say hi 👋 and that I understand where you are sitting. I sh, frequently at the moment and I too often wonder whether I should seek treatment, but don't know if it's needed, don't want to be a bother and I also have a D whom, like you, wouldn't look very good if I took her along with me. I did yesterday go and see my gp while she was at school, and my gp said that yes, I did need treatment.
I guess if in doubt, seek it?
hope you and your son are feeling better soon
11-03-2021 01:05 PM - edited 11-03-2021 08:24 PM
11-03-2021 01:05 PM - edited 11-03-2021 08:24 PM
Hi @destructive,
Pleased to know that you have rested and feeling a little better. It is reassuring to know that your care for your son is a reason to "stay afloat" and to think about ways & resources that you can use for support.
Continuing to think of you and wish you well
With Care and Reassuring Concern for You,
HenryX
11-03-2021 01:36 PM
11-03-2021 01:36 PM
11-03-2021 08:07 PM
11-03-2021 08:07 PM
I'm so grateful for al the comments as I'm feeling so alone.
@Iris unfortunately no GP visit. I'm still unwell with cold/flu symptoms and have my son with me. Both barriers. It's too late now because I think they need to do stitches in the first 24hrs.
@Bow I am sorry you struggle with this also. I use to be better at getting seen to but then I felt more and more like an unconvinced. I hear you struggle with that too. When it's something you do to yourself it's hard to then get help. I know they could do with treatment but it's the need part my perception has changed over time on. Also have changed GP in the last 6 months and that makes it harder. My last one had treated me and so I know she knew of that makes sense. It's such a shameful thing.
@HenryX and @Shaz51 youre both so kind.
I'm still having some pretty hard thoughts. It just feels like life will never end and it is soo hard, every day I feel like I'm wading through concrete. Why do we have to live through this. Self harm stops the thinking for a while.
11-03-2021 08:47 PM - edited 11-03-2021 08:51 PM
11-03-2021 08:47 PM - edited 11-03-2021 08:51 PM
Hi there @destructive,
I'm sorry to hear you're having some heavy thoughts tonight. I wanted to check in privately so please keep an eye out for an email.
Please know you can reach out to a crisis helpline as you need-
Lifeline: 13 11 14
Suicide Call Back Service: 1300 659 467
Thinking of you,
Sphinxly 🐣
If you need urgent assistance, see Need help now
For mental health information, support, and referrals, contact SANE Support Services
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SANE - ABN 92 006 533 606
PO Box 1226, Carlton VIC 3053