Riding a wave

[Former-Member]

Hello Phoenix Rising I'm with you tonight and would love to ride the waves together.  You are not alone and I hope you feel stronger soon.

[Shaz51]

@Phoenix_Rising

[CheerBear]

@Phoenix_Rising - I'm coming past to let you know that I did some reading tonight and discovered something really interesting and timely. Recently researchers found out that the longest flying insect in the entire world is not a monarch butterfly, as everyone has thought for ages. Guess what it is? It's a species of dragonfly and it migrates across entire oceans!

"Pantala flavescens primarily relies on passive dispersal, meaning they don’t continually expend energy to actively fly from point A to point B. Instead, they utilize adaptations, such as an enlarged hind wing base, which allow them to take advantage of strong, shifting, season wind and weather patterns to travel incredible distances...”

That sounds cool?!

Hope you sleep well again tonight Phoenix_rising

[NikNik]

[Phoenix_Rising]

@NikNik I have been super struggling with big feelings today. The picture you just posted super helped. I feel so totally and utterly alone and I miss SO MANY people who have left my world, with CherryBomb being the most recent on that super long list of losses. Super big thank you for making me smile and for helping me to feel less alone.

[Phoenix_Rising]

Goodnight everybody. I super like it that @NikNik is watching over the ocean tonight. It feels nice and calm and familiar. And I SUPER love that picture @NikNik. It makes me feel calm watching it. Night @CheerBear @Shaz51 @TheVorticon and anyone else hanging around nearby on the shore. Tomorrow night is Friday Feast. Thinking about it is making the missing-CherryBomb feelings super big. Do you know which moderator will be at FF tomorrow @NikNik??? You know, it's only when there is a change in something that I realise how much I really really really don't do change. Aside from the fact that I super miss CherryBomb, the whole Universe feels out of kilter because of the change in routine of her not being around in the evenings. I love routine. Change is way over-rated.

[TheVorticon]

G'night @Phoenix_Rising

[NikNik]

That would be me @Phoenix_Rising
See you then!
For now, it's my bed time!

[NikNik]

Hi @Phoenix_Rising
I'm unable to post a cute pic tonight. Can't access the forums on my desktop - so I'm posting from the phone. I will try to convey my message through the power of emojis 🌞⭐️🌟🌈🌊🏄🏼‍♀️🐢🛥

[Phoenix_Rising]

@NikNik I am trying super hard to be brave, but I have a giant wave of suicidal ideation. I simply can't bounce back this time. Everything seems so much darker since the neurofeedback psychologist dumped me, and then things going so badly with (A), and I am still super missing CherryBomb too. I so badly WANT to bounce back and be able to make people laugh at FF, but I simply don't know how now. I feel so totally and utterly alone. I so badly wish I had someone I could just pick up the phone and call.

I know that (A) can't help me, and worse than that, she is doing harm, but I can't start over again. I simply cannot. I miss (F) (abusive psychologist). I really really really miss him. I am so confused. I know the relationship was SO atypical, but he was THERE. And (A) seems to spend all her time telling me how much she ISN'T there. I really am totally alone and I am scared. I can't see any way forward anymore. I don't know how to find any hope anymore @NikNik.