Riding a wave

[CheerBear]

@TheVorticon - I can't imagine too much that I could use more right now than a SuperDuperDookaBookaPolyGizmo, even though I have absolutely no idea what they are at all. They sound perfect and I would love to grab a spare one please!

@Phoenix_Rising - I am about to head to the nest, then quickly stop off on the HOYD thread on my way to that bath. Just called past to pick up one of thevorticon's amazing gadgets and let you know I am still here, still riding along, and still keeping on keeping on as the plan was to do tonight.

[Phoenix_Rising]

Super big thank you for dropping by last night @NikNik @Faith-and-Hopeand @TheVorticon. That was a super cute picture you posted @NikNik. @TheVorticon you are so very good at making me giggle even when I am riding super gigantic waves.

So...I've made an appointment to see my GP this afternoon for the sole purpose of getting some support around what happened with (A) yesterday. There is something very very very wrong here isn't there. I feel SO confused and SO scared. How the hell can this be happening??? I keep telling myself that I can trust my inside, and yet I am full of doubt too. How can it not be me? How can I keep attracting psychologists who do harm? But then, I tell myself that you guys seem to validate the fact that some of what (A) has said/done is not ok. And I know I never had any issues like this with (K) counsellor. And I know I can communicate with @Former-Member and @Former-Member. And I know I had a super long conversation with CherryBomb and it was the most natural conversation in the world. And I know I can communicate with my GP. So...it probably isn't me, is it. SO WHY DOES IT KEEP HAPPENING WITH PSYCHOLOGISTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel super alone and super scared. Everything is all scrambled in my brain. I know I am right back in a situation where I know anyone looking on would say "why don't you just leave"...without understanding that there are complexities around "just leaving." How can I possibly be in this situation again!!!!! I should have just stayed with (F). He was right. He supported me in a way that no one else ever would and even though it was waaaaaaaaaaaaay left of centre, I was definitely safer with him than I am now. Why oh why oh why can't I just find someone safe to help me fix my muddled brain. All I want in the whole wide world is to simply feel safe! Thank you for listening.

[Phoenix_Rising]

Who is watching the ocean tonight @Former-Member? I have giant missing CherryBomb feelings again. The feelings are probably going to get big every evening for a long time aren't they. I super super super miss her. I feel angry and sad that yet again, someone I felt safe with and connected with has disappeared from my world. I REALLY miss her - super badly.

[Zoe7]

I'm hiding in the rocks atm @Phoenix_Rising - you won't be able to see me but wanted to let you know I am there and can see you.

[Pepsimax]

@Phoenix-Rising I really really miss Cherrybomb too overwhelming sad sad sad sad sad sad don't have any other words overwhelming sad sad sad sad sad

[Pepsimax]

@Phoenix_Rising above message

[-karma-]

[outlander]

@Phoenix_Rising 

[Zoe7]

Coming out of my hiding place in the rocks very briefly to see how you are going @Phoenix_Rising- thinking of you little turtle 🐢💚💐

[Phoenix_Rising]

@-karma- are you the @Former-Member watching the ocean tonight? I super miss CherryBomb. I felt safest when CherryBomb was watching the ocean.