Hey there @creative_writer 🌺💜
I can understand not wanting to have too much medication, contrasted with the need to use it to manage bipolar, dearest, especially after dose increases 💜
Managing MH is an ongoing challenge that I believe has many factors that contribute to being able to maintain a state of wellness/remain within our comfort levels, and you’ve touched on one of the major ones, which is finding ways to not look too far into and focus on future possibilities which doesnt have any real purpose, because these possible futures are not a certainty (imho they’re only a possibility, somewhat limited by our own perceptions), and they take energy, focus, and put worry, on today.
For example, i have an illness for which I need to be taking increasing doses of medication, and this drug affects the other functions of my body with side effects, but treats what it needs to treat. There is a significant risk of future complications from this drug, which will likely require its own treatment, and that treatment will then have its own side effects… knock-on effects in a chain reaction, of a number of serious considerations that will influence how I live my life, which become more complicated the further I look into that future. However, I wonder what is better for my health: is it better to live as best I can each day that I’m in - living in that certain moment - or is it better to keep living in the possible futures that may come to pass, which aren’t certain, with my focus and concern on that, rather than actually living for today?
I know that if I live only in those possible futures, I’m adding days and days more stress to myself, because I’m always considering a multitude of things that may happen, taking up much of my brain space and emotional energy, while disrupting my emotional state that I need in balance to manage today. I kind of think that I’d rather look to the things that seem to be a likely certainty in the near future, make a plan, and leave that plan for the future in place so I can return to the moment, live in that moment - whatever it may be - and have all my capacity (bandwidth, emotional capacity/resources) available in the moment, to manage as best I can for this day I am in 🙂🌺
So, I guess what all that means is, consider the value it adds or takes away, to be worrying about potential futures which as yet do not have any evidence of coming to pass any time soon, because it’s taking from the resources and energy available to live for today, and only start planning when it looks like balls are already rolling in directions of high probability of happening, imho 💜🌺🤗
I hope that’s helpful sweetheart? 💜🙂
and yes, I do also think there are considerations to take into account with regards to medication and pregnancy, however I was wondering is it worth it to worry about that for the now (a possible future as yet unknown)..or much better to look at getting study done (a certainty), and manage the expectations around marriage with a sense of priority-setting according to your capacity (eg: managing health, juggling study/life, etc)..? 🙂🌺
Said with kindness as always dear Creative_writer, and holding space for you 🤗💜
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