Lived Experience Forum

[Norbertandme]

So after a year my partner and i decided to break up our relationship it was more her idea then mine, i am one of those 'i love you and we are going to get through this types' and she's more of the 'if it's broken then it's broke types.' We both live with Mental Ilness in our lives me, with OCD and extreme aniexty and her with depression, extreme aniexty and anger. I feel as though yes we we're triggering off our illnesses and yes we spent way too much time together and got on eachothers nereves but i loved her so much i didn't care. We are both females i might add so we did almost everything together, she still wants to remain bestfriends but my heart is literally breaking. We have had break ups about 6 times now and i know it's for the best we stay bestfriends instead of girlfriends but for the past year i haven't been alone and now i feel like one day has passed and i am already aching to see her. She's my bestfriend and i just feel shuttered.

[Norbertandme]

The whole breaking up and getting back to give was giving me panic attacks daily i couldn't sleep without worrying she would leave. I just feel so lonely and broken now though. 😞

[Hobbit]

Hi @Norbertandme

Firstly, welcome to the forums! I can read that you are in a really 'down' state of mind at the moment, and that is always the hard part about rlatonships breaking up, but I can tell you that you have done a really good thing by coming onto these forums. I can definately say that you have friends here. you can tell us what's on your mind and we will listen and provide support where we can.

Remaining best friends might be the best thing to do, because you obviously really love her and it would be horrible for eiher of you to not know each other anymore. But in the same breath I can hear how hard that must be for you right now. Feelings are such comlicated things!!

Perhaps simply taking a little breather and seeing how you feel after a day or two might help?

I found this conversation titled RELATIONSHIPS AND ANXIETY here that I thought you might like to read and you might find useful.

The thing that I am concentrating on though, is that you have OCD and  extreme anxiety. I am worried about how you are managing that. Do you have a counsellor or anyone you can talk to?

Keep posting Norbertandme, and let us know how you are doing.

Hobbit.

[Norbertandme]

I am waiting to see a new phycologist and am going to see the RichmondPRA team tomorrow. We use to spend everyday together and now i just feel so lonely and wish i could just talk some sense in her to love me again but i knowni can't. 😞

[Hobbit]

Ahh.... @Norbertandme - I really do feel for you, you poor thing!! I know saying thngs like it will get better and time heals doesn't really help things right now, but how's about you just try to hang in there until tommorow. RichmondPRA is a great organisation and I think they will be able to really offer you some great support too.

Why don't you let us all know how you are going after you have spoken to Richmond PRA? As I said, you have friends here, and we want to suppport you.

Also, do you know when you can see your psychologist?

Hobbit.

[Norbertandme]

Not until the start of next month which sucks. 😕 She's a new phycologist so i can't get in any sooner. Thanks for the kind words and i will keep you updated.

[CherryBomb]

Hi @Norbertandme

How you doing? Sorry to hear about the rough news. Break-ups are never easy. They're so unpleasant. Remaining friends with your ex can be really hard at first. It's not that easy to move from being in a relationship to suddenlly being friends. So give yourself time.  Being friends means changing your behaviour and how you feel towards your ex - and we all know that this does not happen overnight.

For me, break-ups are an intensely difficult time, lots of tears, lots of soul searching, lot of discovering me again outside of the relationship. But in the end, I've found allowing myself to experience grief - as difficult and as horrible as it seems at first - can be a empowering lesson. I know this sounds very clichè. Like Hobbit said, time does help, but I also think allowing to yourself to be sad can be ok too. Sadness lets you know that the relationship was important. So do what you got to do, eat ice cream, watch bad movies, reconnect with friends, and find yourself again.

Thinking about you going through this tough time...

CB