A long rave

[outlander]

@Appleblossom  @Mazarita im still up if you want to chat for a little bit

[Appleblossom]

Hi @outlander love to chat.

I just went off to look after the slow cook.  We are on topsy turvy time tonight. I went to the butcher but so tired after car mucking around that I needed to go online for an hour before i did tea ... which needed the slow cook ... just as well my son is on topsy turvy time ... he is happy to munch on it through the wee hours.

Mostly I have kept dinner between 6-7, not tonight ...

Is your pop back home?

[outlander]

Thats ok ive eaten all hrs of the night when im alone when pops home usually between 5 and 7 @Appleblossom both u and your son sound like easy going people though.

Yeah pops been home since this morning

[Appleblossom]

Neither of us want to make things harder for the other.

Does your pop realise how bad it has been for you lately?

 @outlander

[Mazarita]

Hi @Appleblossom, @outlander 

Apple, good to hear the flooding problem has been solved. 

Sorry August is a hard time for you. The weather where you are probably wouldn't make it easier. 

I can't afford to run a car. That's aside from my phobia about driving these days. I think I'd only consider trying to do that again if I moved to the country.

Outlander, good to see you on another lateish night. Do you feel better in the house with pop around now?

[outlander]

No @Appleblossom i cant talk to anyone. I just get in trouble and everything becomes even worse. Its better to keep my mouth shut to keep whatever sanity ive got left.
Ive got myself into quite a state tonight. Cant seem to do the right thing and be a good person. No idea where to turn as its going to end making things hard for me or hard for someone else. I have the urge to go fix things tonight but wont.

[outlander]

Sorry @Appleblossom just ignore me. Youve enough troubles to deal with

[outlander]

Yeah @Mazarita its much better being at home in my own bed. Less triggers and feel abit more comfortable too.

How are you? Are you still on your phone?

[Appleblossom]

I was terrified I would lose my son since he was in grade 4 without running a car. So not an option.  Lots of sneery/jeery mentions of incompetence etc ... and former court cases with the oldests' mother and emotional set ups to the loss of my daughter.

In many ways I would have liked to ditch driving @Mazarita, you know I had a year off. At that time I was feeling pressured and could not slow down, just a little bit over.   Was relieved to lose licence and walk to and from station and son could see car in driveway and know I was doing it legally. Better for fitness and my neck strain.  He was old enough to do a bit more walking too. Now its about sustainable transport choices and mechanical realities.  Skills for life. 

Parenting has responsibilities attached, even when they are over 21.

[Mazarita]

The desktop is plugged in again now that the work's finished, @outlander. I feel so much better at the desktop. 

Great that you are more comfortable at home. 

I'm fine tonight, though I've been tired all day and still am. But reluctant to sleep just yet.