Battles

[rav3n]

@Dreamy can you tell that negative voice that it's being unfair on you? that people/we do care about you, and we don't want you to give up. that you're not defined by your low moments, and that you deserve to be here. 

also found this quote and thought maybe it might resonate with you:

keep going, we're here rooting for you.

[Dreamy]

@rav3n I have tried but just when I think I'm getting through something happens and it's back to square one. 

Thankyou for that quote, I hope that's why it's getting tough cos I'm really not sure how much longer I can keep going like this. 

[rav3n]

@Dreamy the fact that you've tried already means more than you know. 

i've heard people say things like 'god gives the toughest battles to the strongest soldier' - no idea if you believe that sorta stuff, my relationship with god's a bit weird but anyways won't get into that - the point being, the challenges that get thrown at us can be unfair, extremely hard and even feel impossible, but you do have the strength to get through it. it's in you, your brain's tricking you into believing you've reached your limit - i assure you, you are stronger than you think. 

if you find it hard to believe, take my word for it! 

[Dreamy]

@rav3n yeah I have that strange relationship with God, I was raised as Christian but lost alot of faith with things that have happened. 

I'll have to take your word for it cos at the moment I really can't believe it. 

[Jynx]

@Dreamy Perhaps that part is simply emulating the myriad of people who have let you down over the years? Like maybe that part has the goal of 'no more hurt' and all you've seen from primary attachment figures is that when one is hurting, one lashes out, and one is cruel, and one isolates.... So it is trying to get you doing the same. 

Acceptance doesn't mean agreement or approval. You can say to this part 'I understand what you're doing' whilst also saying 'but I don't need/want you to do it anymore. 

Anyway that's all really cognitive stuff so feel free to just say 'no thanks Jynx' and we can always chat on it another time, esp if you're feeling dissociatey!

[Dreamy]

@Jynx yeah I get what you are saying. I'd have to be in a different headspace to try and talk to that part of me to try and reason with it. 

Whilst it's not an option right now it's definitely something I would like to chat about more at some stage if I can get through this. 

[Jynx]

@Dreamy totally, we will pin it for another time. 

Are you surrounded by plushies right now? In a puddle of Stitch?

[Dreamy]

@Jynx not quite plushies, but I'm surrounded by pencils 😂. 

[Jynx]

@Dreamy don't think it's quite as safe to dive into that pile... 🤣

[Dreamy]

@Jynx maybe not, especially cos I like my pencils nice and pointy 😂. 

I just finished a picture and I've just started another one but this one is going to require the help of people on the forums. All will be revealed tomorrow 😊. I've chosen tomorrow cos it's making me have something to focus on getting through the night.