Battles

[Dreamy]

@Jynx but this wasn't a crisis line. This is just a service with peer support workers with that lived experience.

That hope is definitely gone right now. 

Guess we will see what the night holds and if i really do have it in me to get through this.

I would like that.

Bye @Jynx ❤️

Sending my love to everyone here and I'm really thankful to have been able to have you all in my life. Thankyou all so much for the support and making a difference ❤️. 

@AuntGlow @Ru-bee @rav3n @RiverSeal 

[MJG017]

@Dreamy 

I know it's all exhausting and it can be relentless as... you know...

At least you know we are always here for you and won't dismiss you.  You have Casper as well now.  I know the list drops off quite a bit after that but it's two positives you can rely on, and that's something for you to hang on to I hope.

Obviously I don't know what you typed before deleting it, but I think, if it was honest go for it!  I understand how completely frustrated you must be.  Id hate to think I said something to make it even worse.  But even if it did come across the wrong way, I don't think any of us would take it personally.  You know we all know enough about how much you're struggling to allow us to understand if something you wrote seemed to come across in a different way from normal.

Having said that... Ive deleted more than my fair share of whole posts or sentences in the past.

[Dreamy]

@MJG017 it doesn't even matter now what I wrote. 

Thanks for always being here and chatting to me, it's really meant alot. 

I hope your night goes ok. Take care of yourself and give Luna and the other cats lots of cuddles for me. 

[MJG017]

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@Dreamy wrote:

MJG017 it doesn't even matter now what I wrote. 

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@DreamyI wasn't saying it does, just that don't be afraid here to say what you feel.  You're among friends here who understand.  That was all.

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I hope your night goes ok. Take care of yourself and give Luna and the other cats lots of cuddles for me. 

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Ohhh... okay.... if I have to... 😁  

Especially in this weather.  Funny how cats get more cuddly on cold nights.  A cynical human might think they were just using me for my body warmth. 😀

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Thanks for always being here and chatting to me, it's really meant a lot. 

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I can honestly say the same back to you.

[Dreamy]

@MJG017 i was hoping to be able to sleep but that didn't work out. So then cos things got too much i reached out to a crisis service who really made me feel that they just didn't want to deal with me as every statement made was how "about you try this ... knowing you can reach back out to us if you still need to". Even when I said that I didn't want to be alone and was telling them how I was feeling and the thoughts and urges I'm having. But they didn't care, they just wanted to get rid of me, so again I'm left feeling like I'm just not worth helping. You know I'm not usually one to say how I'm feeling in a situation like that but I actually said to them "ok then, only cos I get the feeling like you don't want to talk to me anymore". I was just met with "thanks for talking to my tonight, take care" and the chat was ended. Maybe I was in the wrong for speaking up and saying how I was feeling but you know it is really hurts to be made to feel that way by a service that's supposed to be there for someone in a crisis. Oh and I'll also say that it was only a brief chat so it wasn't like we had been chatting for too long, it was about 10 minutes in when they started to try to get rid of me. 

Casper is sleeping on my pillow with his paws touching my face and he is snoring. How i wish I could sleep as much as he does. 

[Dreamy]

Morning @MissinTooth, how are you going today? 

[MissinTooth]

Good morning @Dreamy 

Um...not sure how I'm going today. It's one of those days where it's too early to tell and there hasn't been enough coffee involved. How are you?

[Dreamy]

@MissinTooth quick get some coffee into you 😉. 

We are off to a great start here, wake up and get hit with SI instantly. Yep it's going to be a long day, gotta keep hanging in there somehow though I guess. 

[MissinTooth]

@Dreamy I've been there, just yesterday actually, so I'm hearing you. 

How can you take yourself out of that space today? 

For me yesterday, going to work switched the environment. I'm around people and they rely on me....even if it's just going to sit somewhere, or going for a drive with the music blasting. 

[Dreamy]

@MissinTooth I'm sorry to hear, it's a horrible space to be in. 

Honestly right now I'm not even sure, thinking is proving to be a challenge.