Lived Experience Forum

[tyme]

On Thursday 16th May 2024, we will be holding a Peer Group Chat on the topic of Moving Towards Conflict.

In this chat, we will be discussing how we approach conflict in our lives and relationships. Let’s talk about why we may want to move towards it!

The event start times across Australia are below:

This is currently held in Australian Eastern Standard hours:

WA: 5pm

NT: 6:30pm

SA: 6:30pm 

QLD: 7pm

NSW, ACT, VIC & TAS: 7pm 

For anyone unfamiliar with Peer Group Chats, each focuses on a specific topic and is guided by Peer Workers with lived experience of mental health issues and recovery, &/or caring for someone with complex mental health. A counsellor is also present as a moderator to help ensure a safe environment for individuals and the group. It is a space for us as peers to share our stories and experiences, and connect with those who are going through something similar. 

Peer Group Chats are hosted outside of the forums, using a platform called Chatwee. To join an Online Peer Group Chat, you will need to register for an account with Chatwee. On the night, follow this link and log in to your Chatwee account before the group starts.

Please see this FAQ for any questions you may have. For any issues on the night, please message the moderator of the group on the Chat platform. If you'd like to receive a reminder closer to the event, please support this post & we'll keep you updated.

Tagging @Schmeeges @Jacques @Snowie @Shaz51 @Captain24 @Eve7 @outlander @PinkFlamingo @Blackbird11 @Birdofparadise8 @Glisten @7cough9 @Oaktree @Appleblossom @Patches59 @Alonely @ButterflyWings @survivor19 @Rockdog @Tuiit57783 @Spritely 

[tyme]

We look forward to having you all with us for the chat!

[Snowie]

Looking forward to it 

[Glisten]

@tyme good timing for this topic.

[NatureLover]

@tyme , is there a way to read the thread the next day? Or not, cos it's on Chatwee? I don't function well in the evenings but am interested in this topic. 

[tyme]

Hey @NatureLover , 

We don't publish transcripts anymore, but we do post the questions here after, along with resources provided. This allows members to continue the conversation here. 

We can certainly write down a few points for you.

Hugs @NatureLover . Hope you are okay.

[NatureLover]

Thanks, @tyme , that would be great if you could! I'd like to read it.

Thanks for the hugs 🙂

[tyme]

We will be starting this Peer Group Chat shortly on "Moving Towards Conflict"

Login here: follow this link and log in to your Chatwee account before the group starts.

@Schmeeges @Jacques @Snowie @Shaz51 @Captain24 @Eve7 @outlander @PinkFlamingo @Blackbird11 @Birdofparadise8 @Glisten @7cough9 @Oaktree @Appleblossom @Patches59 @Alonely @ButterflyWings @survivor19 @Rockdog @Tuiit57783 @Spritely 

Tagging new members and those online: @Violet9 @Thea @Banner91 @Cindy4 @Finbok @WildFlower1 @Captain24 @Sunnyside226 

[tyme]

Hey Everyone! Thanks for joining tonight. Here are the questions for tonight, along with some key points @NatureLover 

@Shaz51 @Glisten @Snowie @Captain24 @Patches59 

Q1: How does conflict show up in our lives?  Family  Work

Q2: What are some of the ways we can be impacted by conflict?  Physical sickness  Stress  Agitation  Affects sleep and appetite  Affects those around us

Q3: Is conflict always bad? Why/why not?   No, it can help us grow  We can learn from conflict

Q4: Why might we want to move toward conflict?  To resolve issues  To gain a different perspective  To have a say  To grow from them  Pick your battles  Don’t want issues hanging over your shoulders  Deal with the issue, not the person  Consider the issue and if it’s worth moving towards conflict as it may ignite the situation further  People agree to disagree – it's too much effort otherwise

Q5: When is it preferable to move away from conflict?  When it seems your opinion doesn’t make a different  When there are raised voices  When it’s too much effort  Consideration of how to move away from our own internal conflict  Learn to move towards internal conflict rather than away from it – to accept it and work with it at the right time  When people thrive on it

Q6: What are some of the barriers to resolving conflict?  Confidence  Not being listened to; they think they are always right  Lack of autonomy/independence  Fear  People with different values and priorities  Disability, poor health

Q7: How might we approach conflict in a healthy way?  Don't engage – not worth it  Open minded when approaching the conflict  Asking whether it’s a good time to talk about things  Pick the ‘right time’ to talk about it  Not to try reasoning when people are heightened  Let everyone have their say first  Focus on the issue and not the person  Knowing that the loudest voice may not always be right  Staying neutral and non-judgemental  ‘If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say it’  Stay respectful

Q: Have you learned anything helpful from others’ experiences here tonight that you might be able to apply in your own life? If yes, what did you learn?  Smile, nod, walk off  Stay respectful  May be better for one’s MH to walk off  Pick your battles  Silence can be the best option sometimes  Conflict is not always ‘bad’ for us  If it can’t be resolved, just let it go  Deal with the issue and not the person  Stay open minded; not to be closed and inflexible even if you think you are right  Important to see other’s perspective  Dealing with conflict needs open communication and is give-take

Here are some further resources we recommend having a look at: 

1. Moving Towards Conflict: https://jamienotter.com/conflict-resolution-tip-move-toward-the-conflict/  

2. Compromise vs. Collaboration: https://mediate.com/distinguishing-between-compromising-and-collaborating/ 

3. Conflict Resolution Skills: https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/conflict-resolution-skills.htm 

Feel free to continue the conversation here 🙂

[NatureLover]

Hi @tyme , I really appreciate you listing those points for me and others! Very interesting, thank you 🙂