22-05-2019 06:22 PM
Hi everyone I desperately need some help. As many of you know I was diagnosed firstly with bipolar 1 and then schizoaffective disorder which is all fine and dandy as I am on medications which are helping with the hallucinations and some delusions but there is one which I cannot shake which is starting to become obsessive.
I cannot eat or drink outside the house. Even inside the house the food and drink has to be in my eye sight .... if not I start to panic and think it has been poisoned. It is getting worse. I go to the cafe with my daughter and I will not have anything. I wont take a bottle of water with me for a walk because I think it has been poisoned (makes no sense I know) I wont even go to the dentist because I think I will be poisoned.
My psychiatrist knows and wants me to go to a psychologist about it but I am not ready yet. I know I am not alone in this kind of problem. Was just wondering if anyone had some experience with this kind of problem and would have some hints in getting over it. Thanks in advance greenpeaxxx
22-05-2019 06:34 PM
22-05-2019 06:40 PM
@The-red-centaur it is awful isn't it The-red-centaur. It is like being out of control with it. I know logically this is my illness but this delusion has a mind of its own and I have no dontrol over it and you are right about the band-aid part that is so true my friend so true.
22-05-2019 11:32 PM
sorry to hear you're suffering with this @greenpea . I think Shaz has a good point, as the main taste for poison is meant to be bitter. Can you smell/taste something to test if it's bitter? And if it's not then would you know it's ok.
It's a shame not to be able to have coffee with your daughter but on a more serious health note it's a concern if you're exercising a lot and not drinking water. You don't want to get dehydrated from exercise and I know from experience that walking as you do builds up a thirst. Does it help if you only drink small amounts from a water bottle? Probably a good idea to hydrate before you go out walking even if not thirsty yet.
Have you had any delusions in the past that were similar, believing certain things would cause you harm? And what did you find helpful to tackle the delusion?
22-05-2019 11:58 PM
p.s. @greenpea I went to the dentist recently and I spat everything out. I didn't swallow or ingest anything. They just did all their work with their tools then at the very end offered me water to rinse my mouth with if I wanted. I just rinsed and spat in their spitoon do-dad. So if you really need to go to the dentist, you don't have to swallow or ingest anything of theirs. You could even skip the rinse if you don't want it, though that may leave you mouth a bit gritty. Strictly speaking you could wait till you got home to rinse.
23-05-2019 12:10 AM
@Shaz51 Hi Shaz51 my taste and smell is fine I think. It is illogical, the window of the kitched is locked open and I get worried that poison will filter through the window into my food or drink if I leave it there for a short while whilst I leave the room....
@BryanaCamp Hi BryanaCamp luckily daughter hasn't asked why I don't have a coffee with her as I have made up an excuse which she is happy with. She just likes her mum to be with her. Exercising will be a problem in the summer ... don't know what I will do with that .... as you say I drink a lot of water before hand now so will drink more before hand when the weather heats up.
My delusions in the past have been religious and to do with the law. The religious ones have gone (thank goodness! they were a huge problem) the ones to do with police still hover a bit .... I have to be aware of those ones (don't want to get into any trouble). gpxxx
23-05-2019 12:14 AM
@BryanaCamp you are right I don't have to rinse at all. My psychiatrist suggested taking in my own water to rinse with but idk ..... the questions I will get when I do that ..... ugh just reinforces my mi. In the meantime I floss, brush 3 times a day and rinse with mouth wash so that I can avoid the dentist for as long as possible.
Thank you for spending so much time with me on this BryanaCamp much appreciated xxx
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