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Something’s not right

Mok
New Contributor

Lasting happiness

Can I just ask if anyone has managed to find lasting happiness? I have never and fear I will never find something within myself that keeps me happy. I don't mean constantly, that's unrealistic but that gives you purpose. I should be over the moon, I've got a baby on the way, so close to finally buying a house after years of working towards it, have a great partner and friends but I still feel like I'm empty. I had thought I was doing well but now I'm afraid that even with all this if I can't be happy, will I ever be? So my question is, have you found the secret or is this emptiness something you learn to live with forever? 

3 REPLIES 3

Re: Lasting happiness

@Mok  Hi Mok and welcome to the forum :). Congratulations on your new baby on the way that is exciting news :). I am an old pea and what life has taught me is that things like possessions and other people can only fill the emptiness to a point. You have to be happy within yourself, that is happy without having all those things. Meditation, yoga, walks along the water or in the bush where you can truly think about the beauty of nature and how lucky we are to be living in this wonderful country all help to put our lives in perspective.

 

And again you have to have the times of loneliness to balance out the times of light and happiness. You know we cannot have one without the other. I hope this helps. peaxxxx

Re: Lasting happiness

Hey @Mok and welcome to the forum.

I'm sorry to hear you're experiencing that emptiness. How long have you felt like this?

Something that stood out to me in your post is that "I should be over the moon". I find 'shoulds' are something I feel often and strongly, and they're very hard for me. I think we're taught a lot of shoulds and there are so many of them around events like having a baby and buying a house. While there might be happiness or moments of happiness for some in these events, that's not the case for all of us. They're often big stress and change events and that can be really tricky and extra tricky when we don't feel like we think we should. Is there anyone in your life you are able to talk with about how you're feeling?

Your question of whether anyone has found lasting happiness had me wondering what happiness actually is and how different happiness might be for everyone. For me happiness includes having meaning and purpose. It's having interests and doing things that bring me enjoyment. A big part of happiness for me is found in moments where I feel a sense of peace, calm, curiosity, wonder, stillness, fun, surprise, excitement, appreciation... etc., even if they're fleeting moments. My mental health challenges can make it very hard for me to feel these things. Sometimes I have to work really, really hard to even see them and sometimes I wonder whether they're enough. It can be very tough when I'm sitting in that place where it feels like they're not there. It can help me to try and remember that nothing is forever and to think that even though I can't see them right now, it doesn't mean they are not there. It's so much easier said than done at times though!

 

I guess the short version of my answer is that I believe happiness exists out there somewhere always, but I can't always see and feel it.

I wonder what happiness means to you (if you feel like sharing)?

Looking forward to hearing what others say about this. I hope you find it helpful to be here.

Re: Lasting happiness

Posted at the same time @greenpea. I like the idea of balance and that moments of anything-but-happiness are part of it all. Maybe these difficult times help us appreciate and value the not as difficult ones.

 

Great food for thought this morning.

 

One other thing I wanted to add above is the contact details for a service that might be helpful if you're interested. PANDA (Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Australia) are an organisation who support people experiencing MH challenges during pregnancy and the early stages of parenting. I'm not sure whether you're the person who is growing a baby or the partner of the person who is growing bub, but PANDA supports anyone experiencing challenges during this time. Just something to keep in mind if it could help.

 

Looking forward to seeing you around @Mok 

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