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Something’s not right

Eden1919
Senior Contributor

I feel very alone

I feel very alone at the moment, I probably shouldnt I have a family I am close too and some good friends but none of them are people I can talk to about what is going on with me at the moment. I cant tell them how sacred and tired I am and how much I am struggling just to do everyday tasks or how the devil keeps sending me messages or what the other voices say to me or how even going to bed is a struggle. I cant tell them about how scared I am of what is going to happen or how I just want to scream all the time. I tried telling one friend but they just kept saying what everyone else has said to me "take the meds you are mentally ill" I just want someone who understands someone who believes me so who gets that this isnt just in my head. I know they cant see it the way i do but how am I meant to be able to trust anyone if things just get dismissed. no one really wants to deal with me and my experiences. there is so much i am tired of carrying on my back all alone. 

28 REPLIES 28

Re: I feel very alone

Hi @Eden1919 

I can understand being surrounded by people yet still feeling very alone. I struggle to talk to people close to me.

Please know that we might not understand everything but we are here to support you and listen to you. You are not alone. 

Keep reaching out sweetheart 💞💞💞

Re: I feel very alone

@Eden1919  Eden1919 hey hunny. It isnt just in your head. I firmly believe that my one male voice was not just a 'voice' brought on by mental illness.  Although the medications have dulled my mind in many ways he still occassionaly breaks through and I believe that to be a fact. However the screaming banshee voices were due to my mental illness plus my paranoia and delusions. The thing is I want to be sane and to be sane I have to take my medications even though as everyone knows I dont want to for a multitude of reasons. Stay safe Eden1919. Take care and be kind to yourself. peaxxx

Re: I feel very alone

@greenpea @Snowie  Thanks I hope you are both well.

 

 

i am really struggling with everything at the moment like day to day stuff I am not even able to remember to drink water half the time and keep getting dizzy. I am so behind on uni and my house is a mess and I keep getting really scared of some stuff that is hard to explain and I keep feeling like I am about to cry and I really can’t do this I am just really not coping at all. 

Re: I feel very alone

 

@Eden1919 I am sorry to hear you're struggling and don't have anyone currently in your life that you're able to open up to about what is happening for you. Would you like to be able to talk more to your family and friends about your MI? You could provide them with information - brochures, websites, videos etc. Its is okay to reach out to family and friends for help and ask them you need their support and understanding. Its hard when we have trust issues and bad experiences- it makes it difficult to open up to someone. 

 

In regards to your day to day struggles- perhaps set yourself an alarm on your mobile to remind yourself to drink fluids and write down things you need to do for the day.You can always come here for support and we can listen and help work through a problem with you (if you want us to problem solve or you may just want someone to listen to you). I hope you start to feel more at ease and able to function better. One step at a time.

Re: I feel very alone

It can be really frustrating when nothing else matters to anyone but you taking your meds. We are here and can listen. Please keep prioritising your self-care.

Re: I feel very alone

Hi @Eden1919 

I hope you got some sleep last night and today is a little better for you.

Just know that you are in our thoughts 💕💕💕

Re: I feel very alone

@oceangirl  thanks, I have tried alarms before but they make me more stressed and dont really work for me. 

 

@Gwynn  yes it is quite frustrating.

 

@Snowie  i didnt sleep much last night but more than the night before. 

 

 

I am struggling a lot today I am still exhausted and everything is too much at the moment I am not sure what to do I tried calling a helpline but never got through idk everything is a mess. 

Re: I feel very alone

Can you say to your family that you're struggling at the moment and just need a bit more peace and quiet so you can rest? That should help them understand what you need better, without getting into arguments about whether you're taking your meds or not.

Perhaps a @Former-Member would be so kind as to explain what helpline options you've got at this time of night if you wanted to try calling again.

@Eden1919, perhaps try going to the bathroom and washing your face with cold water, or trying a 5 4 3 2 1 grounding exercise ( https://www.bgcmd.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/Grounding-Exercise.pdf ) might help?

Re: I feel very alone

Thanks for reaching out @Gwynn and for the suggestions you've provided. 

@Eden1919, I'm wondering if an online chat option might be helpful for you if you've had trouble getting through via phone? There's Lifeline or Sane's Helpcentre is open until 10pm this evening if you'd just like to talk to someone 1:1 non-urgently. With the Helpcentre, you're also able to book a call if you'd like to provide more of a guarantee that someone will get in touch. Hope this helps & take good care 🌻 

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