I've struggled in this area on and off for about 19 years (saying that makes me feel old...) I think one of the worst things is feeling like there's no one to talk to when my mood is low - that's why I love this site. I mean, what kind of society is it, that we have to pay someone to listen to us? The last time I told someone I was feeling suicidal, I ended up being scheduled and when I refused to get in the ambulance, the people present threatened to call the police - which left me no choice but to get in the ambulance. I was only at the hospital for about 2 hours (seen by a doctor for about 10 minutes) and then released. Right now whenever I'm around authority figures I get anxious - that even includes my parent, my uni lecturers (I haven't attended classes for weeks now) etc. If I had my way, I wouldn't leave my room.
I will admit, that listening to music helps - I even have music playing while I sleep when I feel this anxious. Watching tv also is something that helps, as it's a distraction. I know it doesn't solve the problem, but it manages to keep me sane (so to speak). I have found in the past that drawing is a great way of expressing myself. I also write in a journal, not as something that I plan on looking back on at some point in the future to look at what my life was like, but just as a way of untangling all of my thoughts - besides, a journal won't interrupt me while I'm talking nor will it share my secrets. 🙂
