@Healandlove thanks for sharing, and yeah I think your couples psych nailed it - pretty sure the literal definition of co-dependency is just two people relying on each other right? And if the reliance is balanced with a good measure of healthy independence, I can't imagine it to be a bad thing... we just probably wouldn't call it 'co-dependent' anymore because of the connotations! It all comes back to our narrative, how we frame and conceptualise things for ourselves. And what is healthy co-dependency for some, could be unhealthy co-dependency for others, it's all very subjective and individual I reckon.
I can hear in your words that you've already done some solid work - I mean you must have, to be able to recognise what you feel you want to improve on! So big kudos to you hun, that is worthy of recognition. And in regards to wanting conflict resolution straight away - part of me learning to manage this was also me learning emotional regulation and healthy mental compartmentalisation (i.e. for me that was learning to recognise when I need to put the issue down and focus on distractions vs when I need to engage with my emotional process and seek some support). Also helped having someone point out to me during a significant conflict with a friend that the fact that it seemed deeply unfair for me to be in a state of such high distress and STILL be mentally prioritising someone else's emotional state over my own... Perspective helps!
Naww thanks hun, and right back at you! Top quality human right here! 💜
