Lived Experience Forum

[Faith-and-Hope]

Yeah we have @Zoe7 ..... 💐💕

Easy does it ..... lots of self-care and baby steps.  We can do this ......

I had baby dragon turbulence here today, but one of those I can’t write about here ..... the tide has turned on it now, but it was a really roller-coastery day.  

Some wonderful news arrived too ..... one of my artworks has been accepted into a private collection somewhere special🌷.  I can’t say more than that ..... but it was good and not-good in quick succession there, and I was choking back tears in class.  The storm is over for now, and a pic of my artwork is going into my coping box next ..... gotta buy me one of those little laminating machines .....

Seeing you here tonight and chatting with you has been a real pick-me-up for me, even though you still feel so low in this moment.  Thinking of you planning papier-mâché miniatures has put a smile on my dial ..... ❣️

[Zoe7]

Soooo pleased for you about your artwork Hon - that is wonderful news 

Not so great about BD meltdown - very much hope that is sorted and will not rear its head for you again tonight. That just makes it even more special that you have been here for me tonight @Faith-and-Hope I really was in a very dark space but chatting to you has really helped me too. I have missed you so much but as much as I have missed you I also knew I could not be here and I know you get that. I have so wanted to support you over the last week also but have been suffering too much myself and knew I couldn't ...again that just makes it so much more special that you are doing exactly that for me know.

I have taken some extra meds - a safe amount so no need to worry. I need to sleep tonight and am usually in bed by now so hoping they kick in soon and I can get some sleep tonight. I will let you know when they do.

I'll have to have a think about what miniatures I can make - maybe a peacock  I still have my peacock painting sitting in the loungeroom with no more done but have not had the energy ot time to even think more about it.

How many weeks until you head off on semester break? Not looking forward to that myself and I am sure you really aren't either 

[Faith-and-Hope]

Part of my nature is to try to help others when I need help myself @Zoe7 , which is one reason why the forums is so supportive of my situation ...... if I can’t do much for me, helping others is next best, so you have been really great for me tonight, feeling that I have been able to help you settle a little 💕

Anothet part of my nature is to try to heal pain with joy ..... so although there will be not-great aspects to going away, I will be keeping an eye out every day for joy-stones to add to my rock-stack, even if I need a magnifying glass to do it sometimes ...... 

[Former-Member]

@Zoe7 

I know you only wanted to talk to @Faith-and-Hope  tonight. And thats fine .. I understand, and dont wish to intrude. But I hope you dont mind me wishing the pair of you a good night.

I know life is a very real struggle right now, and that saddens me greatly. Zoe I hope you find a way through this soon. Not only for your sake, but for your many devoted friends here too. @Faith-and-Hope A big congratulations about your artwork victory. That sounds highly impressive. Good night to you both, along with love and hugs.

Sherry 💕😴

[Zoe7]

That is part of why I feel so disconnected here too @Faith-and-Hope - that feeling of not being able to help anyone which in turn helps me - so we are not disimilar in that context.

No doubt I will do my best to create some of those joy-stones right here for you while you are away ...that alone is something for me to hang onto right now 

How did your appointment go this week? 

[Zoe7]

It is more than okay @Former-Member 

I actually super appreciate that you, @oceangirl and others have given me a little space tonight to get some time with @Faith-and-Hope It is something I very much needed and it has really helped.

Goodnight Sherry. I hope you had a great dinner and there has been a little light in your special day - you deserve that and so much more Hon. Also know that whilst I still cannot come back to the forum per se I do hold you in my thoughts and my heart Maybe in time things will change but that time is not now.

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hi @Former-Member .... 👋💕

I hope you had a lovely birthday dinner out, and thank you for the congratulations...... it’s something that means a lot too me, although there is very little financial return involved .... that is not what is important for me.  It was a chance to give in a very meaningful way.

I saw you walking along with us with supports ..... thank you for being here too ❣️

@oceangirl I hope you’re still around Hon.  I have really appreciated how much you have been chatting to me these last few days.  I probably haven’t said so enough.

💜💐💕

[Faith-and-Hope]

How are you feeling with the meds now @Zoe7 ?

I have been working on my new sculpture project tonight.  It’s taking shape, but I have to keep turning the glue gun in and off, cos when it gets too hot it’s melting the material I am using.

[Faith-and-Hope]

@Zoe7 I will leave this here for you to read later if you have managed to fall asleep ..... I wrote somewhere for you the other day when you had been posting around the threads, that although it didn’t feel like you were helping others here, because of how you were feeling, your presence and words sounded as compassionate and supportive as ever for those of us on the receiving end of them.  Your light shines even when you’re not feeling it ...... ✨💚✨

[Zoe7]

I can feel them starting to work which means it should not be too long before I can try to sleep. A bit shaky already but that is a good sign - means I will likely be able to fall asleep. Staying asleep and not having nightmares is the next hurdle.

@Faith-and-Hope I honestly do not know when I will be back here Hon. There are many factors I need to consider and negotiate but please know this has meant the world to me tonight - just as you mean to me. There is a lot going on for me in regards to the forum and irl aside from the fact that I do not feel I can support anyone anywhere ...even myself. Minute by minute, hour by hour and day by day. Get through tonight, start again tomorrow and do it all again.

I will try to check in with you again tomorrow but I can't make any promises currently. I do really feel so disconnected from everyone here and have seriously considered leaving the forum. You amongst others are holding me on but I am also not sure how long I can hang onto that. I do not want to be in this position but it is what it is. As always though I take you in my heart wherever I go - some bonds traverse time and space and I am so fortunate to have you in my life.

Yep meds kicking in now - goodnight my sweet angel - you have kept me out of that hole again tonight and I more than appreciate it. I know I am always in your prays but maybe tonight an extra thought would not hurt. Love you, admire you and trust you Hon and that is everything to me