Lived Experience Forum

[Maggie]

@downandout  I’m having a really bad day, but I will respond when I can. I wanted to let you know I’m listening and know just how hard this is, from personal experience. For now, be as kind to yourself as you can be.

[Zoe7]

It may be 9 months since this all happened for you @downandout but that really isn't a lot of time at all. Give yourself the space to continue working through things.

There really are some not so nice people in this world as well as those that are out for themselves and no-one else. Despite the grief this has brought you you saw her true colours and that is certainly something that is better to find out sooner rather than later.

As for finding love and trusting again - they are harder to deal with. Trust is indeed something that we find so much harder to see in others when we have been so hurt. It makes us feel like we have no-one to turn to and that is a lonely place. But it is good you have a therapist you are working with though and must have a little trust in them - that is actually a huge thing. You are making progress - however small - progress is progress.

I hear you about wanting that reasoning or closure but knowing that you most likely will not get that from this woman is hard. Sometimes though we need to learn how to move forward in the knowledge that things in our past cannot be changed. That is not easy - especially when our trust is broken and our own sense of self-worth is in question. 

You have done nothing wrong and in knowing that you deserve some self-compassion. Knowing yourself and your place in all that has happened is important to be able to deal with it - and you can hold your head high knowing that all you did was love and trust this woman and she is the one that betrayed all that. Stay true to yourself, work with your therapist and congratulate yourself for the small steps - because they matter ...you matter 

[frog]

Hello @downandout just wanted to say that I read your post and I'm glad you are back on here. The lack of closure is so hard. In a couple of situations I have found that excruciating, though it has faded a bit with time. You said progress is very slow, but it's happening. I'm impressed that you are persisting and I want to encourage you to keep going. When I am really struggling I try and look for little wins, however small, to focus on.

[Molliex]

Hi @downandout thanks for sharing your story, it was very brave thing to do. Please be kind to yourself, you've been through so much. 

It sounds like you've got some pretty amazing friends, I hope they're continuing to help you through.

I don't really have the words, but I just wanted to know I hear you and am wishing you the very best.

Come back and let us know how you're doing when you can.