Lived Experience Forum

[StuF]

Thanks @PinkFlamingo !

[PeppyPatti]

Happy Birthday @StuF 

hope your day was very nice 

Pp

[StuF]

Thank you @PeppyPatti 

It was

Now time for bed! lol

Goodnight all

[PeppyPatti]

@Oaktree    @greenpea Hi how are you ? 

@StuF  

@TAB  @PinkFlamingo 

@Glisten    @faithandhope @Bill16 

@SmilingGecko  @Historylover @cloudcore @Jacques 

@Emelia8    @ENKELI  @LoveandHope  @Meowmy  @Shaz51  @Tilz    ..

 @cloudcore     @saturnzoon  @Shaz51 

@PinkFlamingo - similar to you, I was walking across a crosswalk, hit,  coma 6 weeks. I got myself better as my Mum hopped on a plane and disappeared out of my life for 20 years. 

Was this like you ? no support, sort of forgotten by the hospital for added therapy  when discharged 

You lost yourself, that’s okay. I was laughed and laughed by people who should have known better when I was studying. I was innappriate, immature, tangent crazy…….

i went to university to prove I could too. Iv been in therapy for years and years

Iv been branded many things….  Who cares? . 

I think my middle brother is coming back to me. Mum tried to convince my three brothers that I was a cut snake …….. 

it’s taken me many years to know myself,, to embrace being vulnerable. 

I’m not good today because last night, I called my youngest son’s work to see if he still worked there and I just want to give him a present.

 I haven’t seen him for almost 4 years and both my therapist and I know that my Mum has bitched about me so much and lied about me so much……he can’t cope because he has his own big problems from having cancer for 15 years. 

Anyway, when me and Mr Rocker got to his work, we found out he left work early sick once he found out I was coming in. 

Both my sons are not present in my life because of my Mum. I know that I should be grateful for so much but I’m very down because of my sons. Mr Rocker has been wonderful. 

Mr Rocker sent him a text to say that he is loved but we are both here and happy to see him whenever he wants. 

[PinkFlamingo]

Hey there @PeppyPatti 🙂

I’m really sorry to hear that. 
yeah… I was riding my ex’ brand new mc home so he could spend the night out with workmates, and I was cleaned up by a speeding driver who ran a red light… won’t go into details as it was pretty awful from that point onwards for the next 15 years, but yes - I was treated like a criminal and second class citizen by all of the public services involved being a female on a motorcycle - horrid discrimination. 
They didn’t bother scanning my brain despite me being unresponsive/inconsistent, because I could hear them saying I probably deserved it - assuming I was the one in the wrong. They wrote it in notes, and so I needed to fight that in court (along with the rest like workcover, third party nominal defendant in NSW, and third party insurer..along with the criminal stuff where cops wanted to charge me based on falsehoods and assumptions, without any forensic investigation). 
Fun and games. 
My relatives were offended I wasn’t able to travel for hours to help them with renovations projects, help them repair cars, etc. anymore, so everyone ghosted. My ex wasn’t at all supportive, and kept using most of any money I received in wasteful, meaningless ways for his benefit or to pay off his debts (while spending less and less time at home). 
I mostly just rehab’d myself, relearning how to read, see properly, remember things, walk without forgetting how to do it half way through and face planting. Very much the adventure. 
I tried to access rehabilitation services, but I kept getting declined. Bugger them - who needs a whole department of staff specialised in treating the effects of brain injury when I have 1 injured brain to fix everything? 🙂
I was labelled autistic at uni, nobody bothered to ask why I asked so many questions and had micromoments of losing focus when tired. Not autistic by the way. Used to have a high IQ (not that either matters!). 

I’ve never had therapy of any substance (and I don’t count one who would fall asleep during all the sessions 😂, and the first one from the beginning who used to cry every time I went in the door just looking at me - I felt great about myself really hehe.. that didn’t last long). 

psychiatrists tried to drug me into oblivion, but they found that giving me antidepressants and sedatives was like juicing my damaged brain with amphetamines, resulting in me losing control of my body while thrashing wildly - no control over it whatsoever. No good when also recovering from multiple ortho surgeries - more damage sustained. 
oh, just a bad few days here and there. 
I’m really sorry to hear about your family situation. 
I’ve had no connection with parents since oh.. decades now. Toxic: I’d survive a bite from a King Brown easier than their poison. 
I tried to have children (I was pregnant when I was hit……..), but I couldn’t have any afterwards because I was too damaged. Now, there’s a whole other area of law I just didn’t have time or resources to pursue on my own. 
anyway, we have a bad day and we move on. 

I hope you can gain some peace regarding family, and things work out for you 🌺🙂

it’s not easy, however one thing I realised was that life can’t be spent with all of my time waiting; there was a point where I had to live in the time I had left 🙂

I hope there’s something helpful in hearing a kindred story for you 🌺

take good care of yourself 💜🙂

[PeppyPatti]

@PinkFlamingo , didn’t trigger me but……

both made me feel safe and I don’t know , her very creative writing made me feel that I have progressed a bit more than I thought in the last few years.

not that it means much but yes, a long time ago i have a high iq. 

So do you think you caught more compassion and empathy after the accident? 
What happened to you is so something I’m having no problems in believing.

Woman on motorcycle 

- you should have known better…

And yes, it happened to me too. The magistrate dismissed my case because he couldn’t work out whose fault it was: was it the driver or was I trying to commit suicide I must have slowed down my walking across the crosswalk ? 

I just can’t believe that 

im not present in my two sons lives. sorry for writing this…After all these years I have a good support network and like @PinkFlamingo survived a …thi. 

I did need to change my mind. One was speaking something that was in my head thinking and that is that I only care about love. I only care about the soul. 

I truly believed that this is what I would have been like before the head injury. I just would have been more efficient, flexible in both thinking and physically . today I just forget things and need to sit down unless I feel overwhelmed. 

Im sorry, I need to go. 

how is University going? IDE love to do my Masters…. 

[PinkFlamingo]

@Jynx  I posted about sleep apnoea which may be helpful for others, but I can’t remember which thread it was in. It was for @TAB , in one of their threads. 
I used to work in the area of sleep disorder diagnostics and treatment so it may be helpful in understanding the mechanisms and treatment options…. Maybe it’s helpful

[PinkFlamingo]

I hope you don’t feel triggered @PeppyPatti 

I eventually became more empathetic and compassionate… but for a while - after the cake was out of the picture (wedding cake = husband) and I was alone, if anyone crossed me enough to wind me up, I was the definition of anger. Never did anything, raise my voice, or touch a thing, but people did say to me I’d knock a hole through a building with my stare alone. I had to learn to turn that energy into something useful before it became self destructive - which I could feel happening. There were a couple other things happening at the time which were significant and external but impacting on me heavily, which I won’t bother with here, and so I knew I needed to move into a different emotional space because where I was was clearly very emotionally destructive. I felt it, like a heavy cloak. 
After 14 years in 4 concurrent cases, I learned court isn’t about truth very early on, and who could argue with the most convincingness was the victor…I’m sorry to hear about your case. 
sadly it happens all too often. 
I argued outright with barristers who tried to supplant the truth, and said hold me in contempt; at least that would be a charge of truth - the first and only. Angry lady hehe 😉 

Moving on.. 

I’m sorry it’s hard with family, however I’m glad to hear you have a support network, that sounds nice. I have no experience of that, so I can’t really say much more besides it sounds really wonderful. 
I think too that all the people I’ve known with head injury and repeated loc concussions like me are much closer to their ‘old’ selves than initially perceived; I think - like with many injuries and illnesses - it’s society treating us differently/marginalising us that makes us feel we are very different from who we once were beforehand. 

I forget things that I don’t focus in intently, once I go to sleep… so it’s like yesterdays incidental events didn’t record at all… that’s ok - I have learned to make my own adjustments. 
I hope you have been given/taken that same opportunity 🙂

University.. was a quick change of plans, so I’ll be recommending in June, but I’m looking forward to it restarting again then. 
Masters sounds good - what would your interest area be if that’s ok to ask? 
I wanted to do a masters, but it wasn’t possible at this time 🙂

[tonys]

@Jynx You specialize in the,  Make folks feel welcome n happy.   Your something else mate.  Bless you.. tonys.

Nite all the beaut people.   @PinkFlamingo  @PeppyPatti  @cloudcore  @StuF  @Emelia8  @ENKELI   n anyone not tucked in yet.  Now . . Where is my teddy.    nite all

[PeppyPatti]

Hey @PinkFlamingo 

It took me absolute years to get a support system. People who fit my personality and know me backwards and forwards. There's 2. About 2006. I was visiting my two friends and suggested we had a birthday day once a year and gave each other presents. Well it became bigger than Ben Hur. It's one of my most joyous days of the year. We three sit together and for about 4 hours we talk constantly. Then we don't really see each other until next year. 

My support system includes 

My wonderful ex husband 

My partner and his unusual but conservative family.

2 birthday day friends.

My support coordinator from NDIS

My budgies 

My GP

My Psychotherapist 

I agree with you about concussions but for me, dunno about you, a burst in my compassion and empathy was opened. I became someone with a well of emotions and vulnerability. 

Trauma counselling comes in stages of layers. 

I think we had both possibly different but very extremely sobering journeys in the past.