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shanc
Senior Contributor

Breaking ties with a dysfunctional relationship

The last three time i have seen my 'Mother figure' I have left upset with a barage of hurtful words.  For example 'I have listened to your s@it long enough, you will sit and listen to mine.  She then went on to ask me if her problems make me feel better because everyone has sh@t.  That's a mere example.

Anyway!!! my therapist is great and I feel that I am slowing getting better and can actually think about the future and although the idea of beer and self harm can raise its head, I (for now) don't mind waking up. My therapist gets quite adamant when we talk about the 'mother figure' and is helping me work out a plan to cut all ties.  Easier said than done but I can now see how much damage she is causing me and that I can't take it.  Some days are harder than others for strength to not answer her calls (as she is most likely needing me to do something) and to step back from a family I have known for 15 years.

I have finally got the courage to do some relief work which in turn will ease the financial burden of the next semester of uni.  This week I haven't had a sip of beer or any self harm.  Next week who knows!!!

 

5 REPLIES 5

Re: Breaking ties with a dysfunctional relationship

@shanc 

That is awesome news, it sounds like you have had a really good week, and been able to realise and recognise some things as well, i think you are doing really well

keep up the good work 🙂

Re: Breaking ties with a dysfunctional relationship

Well done @shanc !

That is really good news. It is so painful and difficult recognising, and then dealing with, abusive relationships. So good on you for working on this! Have you considered that tackling this is perhaps part of why you haven't resorted to beer or self-harm? You truly deserve to have people in your life who care for and respect you. Sh!t dumping is not respectful.

Keep up the good workSmiley Happy

Take care of you!

Kind regards, 

Kristin

Re: Breaking ties with a dysfunctional relationship

@Shanc..fantastic week!! Well done indeed :).

Re: Breaking ties with a dysfunctional relationship

Thank for sharing re tomorrow.
Each day a new start I try to say everything morning to will be better than yesterday.
One day one step at a time
Scorpion

Re: Breaking ties with a dysfunctional relationship

Thank you for your positive support. The rise up has been followed by a quick fall and today self harm won. A very intense therapy session resulting in me feeling overwhelmed with a spinning head. The therapist digging deeper to work on the issues ( which is her job). However, trying to break from a dysfunctional relationship and the strength required when for the last 15 years she was the one you thought was a caring mother figure, but in turn being abusive and harmful. Ups and downs.. The joys of mental illness we all encounter.
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