27-03-2025 09:07 PM
27-03-2025 09:07 PM
Thankyou @Jynx ❤️. Trying hard to just focus on colouring but I'm really having a hard time with my thoughts right now. It's taking every bit of my strength to not want to just act on my thoughts, it's exhausting having to fight like this.
27-03-2025 09:41 PM
27-03-2025 09:41 PM
@Dreamy the thoughts might be strong but you are stronger! And boy oh boy do I wish you didn't have to be - that you could just relax instead of having to fight.
I'm gonna be wrapping up soon hun. How you travelling now, you been able to get any colouring going?
27-03-2025 09:45 PM
27-03-2025 09:45 PM
@Jynx those thoughts are stronger than I am right now. I just want to be able to let down my guard and have that bit of relief.
I've done a tiny bit of colouring. But my brain is just throwing every possible dark thought my way and I'm close to calling it quits. There's red flags that I've recognised in things I've done and my own safety alarm bells going off and whilst I'm trying to ignore them I also know it's a very, very fine line right now.
27-03-2025 09:59 PM
27-03-2025 09:59 PM
@Dreamy I think you're stronger than you are giving yourself credit for in this moment. Maybe that's just me, but I want you to know I do believe in you, have every faith in your ability to conquer tonight's challenges. You got this 😎
I am off for now, but sending you hope, hugs, and heavy amounts of healing energy!! I can't wait to see the teacup animals, whenever that may be!!
Nighty night 🫂🫂
27-03-2025 10:00 PM
27-03-2025 10:00 PM
28-03-2025 12:41 AM
28-03-2025 12:41 AM
Hello @MJG017. I hope your busy day went ok. Do you have any plans for tomorrow or do you get to relax?
28-03-2025 12:56 AM
28-03-2025 12:56 AM
Hey @Dreamy
I'm, getting old. It was probably a normal day for most people, but it exhausted me!
It didnt help that my memory continues to fail me, and I don't know whats going on with it. I finished my online training, and had to leave right away to get to my study group near the city. I would be a little bit late but it was fine. I didn't have time to have lunch, but I also needed petrol so I figured I would just grab something to eat at the servo. So I got to the servo near Castle Plaza and filled the tank, went to grab my wallet and discovered I must have forgotten it. I've never done that before. I thought I can just use the walker app on my phone but apparently it said my card needed validating again. I got the code it sent to me, entered it and the damn thing goes "oops something went wrong". No sh!t! Stupid garbage apps!!!! So I have to look like an idiot in front a bunch of people while I fill out some paperwork with my id and promising to come back and pay within 24 hours. So I got to my study hub ever later than I planned, with nothing to eat or drink all day apart from a small bowl of cornflakes I had before my online training!
I don't know what's going on with my head, but I keep making these mistakes by forgetting things I never used to.
So that was my day. The lecturer loved my work on my trauma informed care assignment so far. She said it was very long, but that I covered everything and it was all relevant so it was very good. So that was nice to hear.
Anyway, how was your day? Did you get any more information about this debt?
28-03-2025 01:08 AM
28-03-2025 01:08 AM
@MJG017 oh dear, have you mentioned your memory problems to your doctor? I know when we are stressed and have lots of things going on we can easily forget things, also people that have suffered trauma don't always have the best memory capacity. It may be nothing but it's better to get it checked out just for that peace of mind.
It sounds like a very full on day and running on not having lunch would have only made that exhaustion so much worse. Your servo incident sounds like me at the shops today, I did my shopping and went through the registers scanned my bank card only to be told it had been declined, I was almost in tears and started having a panic attack. As far as the apps on my phone I refuse to use them, they are too complicated for me and I'm old fashioned and prefer using the actual card.
Yay for the lecturer loving your work, yes it may be long but at least you didn't miss any details.
My day has been hell and it's still continuing now, tonight is one hell of a fight that I'm up against. I rang to try and sort the debt out but of course the person that deals with that wasn't in so it's just another waiting game.
28-03-2025 12:56 PM
28-03-2025 12:56 PM
I know... it is starting to concern me. I was never one for planning and having things in calendars, or to-do lists, or reminders. If there was something i had to do, I remembered. Possibly because there was never that much to remember, but still! Now I rely on my calendar on my phone for everything! If i have to do something small, like call someone I set myself an alarm so i don't forget. And now i'm forgetting things like my wallet! Sometimes, after dinner, I look at the pack of my tablets and think "have i taken them yet?" I've had to come up with a little system so i know if i've taken them after a meal! I put the pack on the table before the meal, and put it back in the little box once i've taken them. But sometimes i forget to do this. I've thought about mentioning to my GP, but i get so little time when I speak to anyone. By the time the other stuff is discussed, i'm out of time. Plus if i hear "there's not much we can do" one more time i think i'm going to let a swear word or two slip. 😬 I've been dealing with some stomach issue for over a year now and so far, just an endoscopy which showed nothing. But i'll stop now otherwise my little rant may continue for quite a while. 😁
I did get my credit card sorted on my phone. I tried to sort it once i got to the study hub, but there was a continue button and if i hit it, nothing would happen. So when I got home, i just removed it completely and started fresh as a new card and it worked! Maybe yesterday was just bad day for banks and their cards working... it maybe it was just us! Honestly, that wouldn't surprise me at all! 🤣 I never liked using the phone to pay for things either, i never really trusted it. I don't know why I set it up in the first place. Oh, as I wrote that i remembered. I had a card cancelled when someone bought a punch of Apple vouchers using my card details and it was flagged as fraudulent activity and they contacted me. Obviously my card details had leaked from somewhere and so i needed a new card. They gave my the details but said it would be a few days until the physical card arrived. But since I had the details, I could enter them into Google wallet and pay for stuff. I've never needed to use my phone to pay since then... until yesterday.
How utterly annoying that you still don't have any clarity of this debt thing!!! I really hope you can get this sorted out soon. Anyone would be stressed with that hanging over them! It's completely unfair to put this stress on you and leave you hanging like they have. I'm keeping everything crossed for you.
28-03-2025 05:21 PM
28-03-2025 05:21 PM
@MJG017 I can understand how it would be concerning, i think it's definitely worth a mention if you can get a spare moment next time you see your doctor. I forget things alot but that's cos trauma has had such an impact on my memory, like i can't absorb new information. Totally understand wanting to let a swear word or 2 slip hearing there's not much we can do, I'm with you there, sick of being told the same thing. Always welcome to rant away if it helps to get it out of your system, i don't mind at all.
Glad you got it sorted, still so frustrating though. My card was declined cos I had nothing in my account, that's the first time I've had that happen in many years. Oh gees someone using your account to purchase Apple vouchers, at least it was picked up as fraud, that would have been annoying though to have to sort out.
Ok so I still haven't heard back about the debt, no surprise there. But I did hear back from the place that I said about safety concerns. They are very much invested in supporting me and I have several places to contact on Monday to get further support around this. Not looking forward to more phone calls though but they can also support me with that. I'm kind of lost at the moment as I've found out 3 of my friends are leaving my local shop, so it's really messing with me.
Anyway how's your day been?
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