Battles

[Till23]

Don't even think about it @Dreamy you need to look after yourself first. I had other people to chat to, and having a bit of quiet time was good as well

[AuntGlow]

Good evening @Dreamy, I am just checking in to see how you are feeling and how you have been caring for yourself this weekend? 💛

[Dreamy]

Hi @AuntGlow, I'm really not doing ok. Last night I was doing my colouring when a pencil snapped and instantly triggered a very traumatic flashback that sent my body and mind into a panicked state. That flashback hasn't stopped and I can see, hear and feel it all happening over and over again. I can't really answer how I've been caring for myself cos the things I've been doing are not taking care of myself. 

I hope your are doing well and I appreciate you checking in. 

[MJG017]

Hi @Dreamy 

It sounds like you've had a very tough week!  You know what i mean... tougher than usual.  I'm sorry it's been so difficult for you.  I'll keep this short as I know you find it difficult to read much when you're struggling so much.  So i just wanted to let you know i'm here with you as much as I can be, and I hope this flashback stops very soon.  Also sending a big warm no-touchy hug!  Although I was down at Victor this afternoon and I still feel like an icicle! 🍦 (closest emoji i could find to 'ice')

[Dreamy]

Hi @MJG017, thankyou I really do appreciate it. I need it to stop but it's not and every loud noise is making it so much worse. This really is an event that I had tried to bury deep within and forget about but clearly that didn't work for me. 

Definitely need those hugs at the moment and I'm glad you made it a warm one. It's quite cold now and it would have been cooler at victor. What did you get up to there? 

Hope you are doing a ok as you can be. 

[MJG017]

@Dreamy 

I think those really traumas can be buried so deep, but they always lurk, ready to ambush! 

We just went down to Victor just to get out of the house.  It seemed as good a place as any.  It hasn't been doing my mind much good sitting at home recently.

Okay... so I was the funniest thing on YouTube the other day.  Now if you're a Katy Perry fan you will probably disagree.  But there was a video from this woman poking a bit of fun.  At about 10min 30sec into the video she shows some dance moves from her latest tour with the original audio removed and some effects added in.  Being so immature, I almost wet myself!  Then I watched the video, laughed so hard I almost wet myself again 🤣. So you can watch it all or just jump to 10.30.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=i9pYbKa89tk&pp=ygUSS2F0eSBQZXJyeSBmdW5uaWVy0gcJCdgAo7VqN5tD

Hopefully it gives you a chuckle.  It sounds like you could do with one tonight.

[Dreamy]

@MJG017 they really do. 

Well I'm glad you got out of the house for a bit and I hope you enjoyed spending the time together 😊.

Bahaha that was classic, I watched the first few minutes before my brain was like, nah we gotta skip to the good part 😂😂😂. Thanks for the laugh. 

[MJG017]

@Dreamy 

I'm glad I could give you something to smile at.  I wish I knew how to make it more permanent.  

[Dreamy]

@MJG017 not sure that's even possible. At the moment I can't feel anything other than fear, hurt, anger, frustration, guilt, failure, worthlessness, sadness. Even when I smile or laugh for a few seconds, reality kicks in and it all comes crashing down. 

[tyme]

I'm sorry to hear this @Dreamy . It sounds so hard to sit with all these feelings. 

What would be helpful for you at the moment? We just want to make sure there's a way we keep these posts recovery-focused. Remember, this is not to disregard your feelings of pain and hurt, but to also let the community know what you'd like from them as a way to help you.