Lived Experience Forum

[Zoe7]

So sorry to hear things with family member have worsened again @Sophia1 but that you have people alerted to what is going on. You need to keep yourself safe and do whatever you need to do Hon. It sounds like he is trying to manipulate you with denials messages were meant for you ...one maybe but multiples very doubtful. I hear you want to see the better side but you also do not deserve to be the recipient of such abuse. Love is a powerful thing though so I know how hard it is to see the worst in people when we have love for them also. We do not have to like those we love however Hon - and we certainly do not have to suffer from abuse. Look after yourself first - keep those boundaries where you can and know you deserve so much better 

[Sophia1]

Well I am back here

I feel guilty as I have not been here for so many who have supported me..

I know from a rational point of view that I need not feel this way..

I just want to express that my immediate feeling is one of guilt..

I have had many ups and downs which as silly as it sounds is a huge improvement..

Moving into our new home with our heritage tree and river with gum trees just across the road which I refer to as my extended garden has helped me tremendously.

I have always known that I am a person who is hugely affected by their environment.

For me I need to be surrounded by nature.

Now I have my heritage tree and park, ponds, frogs, birds, wildlife, (not wanting to see any snakes) I feel such a sense of release from such a huge percentage of my life actually.

I am a very highly sensitive person, I am impacted hugely by my environment and the energy of those people around me. I have been told so often that I am empathic. A word to me. I have so much love to share and give it seems to flow over which probably sounds so silly. well there it is I have finally acknowledged it. Yes I am very different as I have always been told. I now embrace my difference and realise that I love being different. I have never ever wanted to be a shadow or a clone.

So why has this taken so long to realise?

[Sophia1]

I have met some wonderful people through Carers.

Many of us are of high intelligence and have several degrees.

Why am I surprised at this?

This is how society portrays us...

Carers outings have now changed.

I have mingled and suggested and achieved our own outings...everyone having a choice...no pressure..is working well.

I must post this on the Carer side..

I still feel that I do not fit on that side and yet that is the very reason that led me to find these forums.

hmmmm

[Sophia1]

hello lovely @Former-Member 

you have always been in the background supporting me ...this I have always noticed..

despite your own huge ordeals...

I apologise for not knowing at what stage your situation is..

I have had to take time out from the forums..

as I now set personal boundaries from my interractions with my family member..

It is a very had lesson which I am still struggling with, that every single person no matter how noble or successful they are has to look after themselves first to be of use to anyone else...

I am putting into place with ramifications and then dealing with them..

ultimately with the help of my therapist I am doing what is best for everyone..

I hope that you also are at a stage as difficult as it is to be able to set some personal boundaries...

I remember how much you have been through..

sending you love and thanks for remembering me despite my absence 💜

even though we are absent, we still bear the heartache...

[outlander]

@Sophia1 🧡💜💕
A little short on words but im hearing you and listening 💚💙💛

[Sophia1]

hello dear @outlander 

I have read some of your posts one of your threads in regard to dementia I think?

I can only reiiterate what others have said....far too much to bear at your age.

I am extremely annoyed not only with your family but more so with the health system who are aware of your situation..

Aside from that  I hope that you have something in your life that is enjoyable, fun and fulfilling...at the least!

Time out to do any of this is imperative...

Please allow yourself to experience the joy of youth...

it goes quickly..

bless you dear outlander

[Former-Member]

Thank you @Sophia1  😀💗

Lovely to see you, and to hear that things are improving for you somewhat. Your new home sounds lovely. I was interested in your comment about you being a very sensitive person. I wrote about exactly that on my own thread a week or two ago. All about the many signs and traits of being a Highly Sensitive Person. My psych and I spoke about it at my last session. Anyway .. 3am here .. need to go. Catch you next time.

Sherry 💕

[Maggie]

@Sophia1  It’s lovely to see you.

I had a mental picture as you described your new home. Gum trees, river, frogs and all the extended outside family , quietly enjoying nature. It’s possibly the only place I get a sense of belonging on this planet. 

Its good to read that  your life is improving . 💜💜💜

Lots of 💙💙💙💙💙

[Sophia1]

Hello dear @Maggie 

Yes it has taken many many years and now I am finally feeling I am at home.

I will never move again.

They will have to carry me out in whatever...

I spent nine hours today...sorting out spots for potted plants around my beautiful gum tree...

some will survive..some will not..

we can now finish painting the outside room and get some decking...hence cannot have potted plants on decking..

I spent ages planning....sun...shade...size...replanting and then once positioned...I added parts of tree roots of tree from when excavations for foundations were done.

I added smaller pieces of blue stone...

I added shredded bark...

I honoured my tree..as this tree as I have long known...is the setting for my sanctuary...

I felt such bliss despite the fact that I was exhausted...

Some plants will not survive due to the exposure of more wind, sun at different stages of the day...

no matter...they have been a part of a celebration of connecting with my tree...

I do realise that some people will think that I am quite barmy....

I now can confirm what I have always known, I am connected with earth, via trees, soil, water, sun, rain, clouds, thunder, lightening and whatever I have left out..

The birds love it..

So I share with you some of the connection with nature that I feel here as I know that you understand such a connection...

Maggie I am sorry, I do not know where you are on your journey... I have been absent to maintain self care at the same time am aware that I miss out on supporting special friends..

Tell me what you would like to share and I will next time respond.

I sincerely hope that life has finally realised that you are ready for some kindness

💜

[Maggie]

@Sophia1