Lived Experience Forum

[Lorenzo1123]

I spent the last year watching porn and masturbating and because of it I became depressed and other factors like breakups so  I watched more porn to help with it and now I don't feel attracted to women anymore. Does anyone know if I am able to regain it and if so how?

Attraction to women is a blessing from God and I pray the whole world doesn't abuse it and play people.

If you know how to, please tell me how I can get it back.

May the Risen-Lord Jesus Christ bless you all abundantly.

[D1ng0]

Hey @Lorenzo1123, welcome to the forums. While I'm not attracted to women or religious, so I can't comment on those things specifically, video pornography can definitely impair real-life romantic/sexual connection, especially if a person is experiencing depression and breakups. That's true across pretty much every sexual orientation, as I've known gay men who are affected this way too, as well as heterosexual and bisexual women. The solution depends on your individual circumstances/struggles. A psychologist or counsellor might be a great start. The SANE phone line can help you with counselling and resources, so you don't have to tackle this alone.

[Lorenzo1123]

It's hard for me to call people would I be able to text them?

[tyme]

Hey there @Lorenzo1123 ,

I'm sorry to hear you have been feeling down and depressed, and feel that turning to porn has exacerbated things.

I read that you find comfort in God. Do you have a church chaplain or someone you can speak to? I know you mentioned you prefer text rather than speaking to people. 

I wonder if peer support hear on the forums is helpful for you at this time?

Another option is to speak to your GP about it (once again, this is not text form). 

[Minkie-Rose]

Hi @Lorenzo1123 

Firstly, I respect that one's conceptions of faith and 'God' can differ. However, what seems common to all conceptions is the enduring love of God, no matter what the situation or perceived transgression.

With this in mind, I have every confidence that you will find a pathway to happiness. This might entail, connecting with people outside of your immediate family system, letting go of the feelings that are causing you unrest, and accepting the unique person that is you.

I once asked a person who came form an atypical background "how do you reconcile your faith with your identity". The simple, and perhaps obvious answer, was "God is love". This continues to resonate with me to this day and might be pause for thought. 

[Lorenzo1123]

Thank you but I just want to have normal feelings again and feel things when I look at women.

[PizzaMondo]

Hi @Lorenzo1123
I read through your posts and others' responses and it made me curious about a few things such as:

1. what else is going on right now in your life?
2. the aspect of gender/sexuality/libido to be fluid and everchanging
3. the connection between our brain and body and how aspects of ourselves can be impacted/numbed when in different states

Anyway, you absolutely do not have to answer any of these, but it made me think if you have been able to reflect on your previous experiences (breakups) and where you feel you are emotionally now (if you were to enter a new relationship with a woman for example) - wonder if there is any connections here to understand where your attraction towards women stands currently.

Here to hear your thoughts, if any 🙂

Warmest,
PizzaMondo

[chibam]

@Lorenzo1123, are there any women in your life who you are attracted/interested in/like on a personal level?

It's hard to be attracted to women if there are no women around catch your interest on any meaningful level, if you get what I'm saying? Like, by now, your probably wise enough to realize that if a woman's only positive quality is her... physical attributes, then she's probably not worth the trouble of pursuing; you know you won't find anything but disappointment with her.

[PeppyPatti]

G’day @Lorenzo1123 

Although I was surprised at your message I thought, yeah, why not? 

I left my first husband because of his addiction to porn and other things.

Drop me down with a feather, when I left him, years and years ago, I thought I knew how his life was going to end up but I was wrong. My oldest son told me. 

MY ex husbands got him into therapy for years and turned out a reasonable nice person. He did tell my oldest son he was in therapy for years and years…..

but everyone’s different.

I’de always go to the Gp - Doctor- and tell him your truth on your issues and see about how your physical health etc is going? 

Like @chibam  writes that it’s hard to be attracted to women when there are none around. But I have nothing to feedback to this statement because I’m only wrapping my head about it too.

[Lorenzo1123]

I lost it because of porn and constantly masturbating I need to abstain and flee lust as God commands. My brain will rewire and be healed once I stay consistent.